Marriage Tips – The Secret To A Long And Happy Marriage
I often hear people share marriage tips at weddings, claiming to know the secret to a long and happy marriage! And one of my favourite marriage tips I believe to be true is: “it’s the little things that are the big things”.
A few months ago I was on a Virgin
flight to the Whitsundays
and I saw first hand just exactly what this meant. I was seated next to a beautiful couple, Max and Barb. They were both in their 80s and after chatting with them for a while, I discovered they had been married 67 years.
Now, I have a HUGE soft-spot for senior citizens, so I was pretty excited to be sitting with them. I love chatting with the older generation. They have so many tales to tell and they’ve experienced so much change throughout their lives.
So over a wine and some tea, I chatted with Max and Barb. Their faces were aged yet kind. Their hands showed signs of a life well-lived. And when Max introduced me to Barb and we chatted, I could tell they had a wonderful life.
It’s the Little Things
We talked lots about our reasons for traveling, our kids, work, where we lived and where we were going. And during the 1.5 hour flight, I couldn’t help but notice how attentive Max was to Barb. He ordered her drink first, he opened her airplane snack. Max made sure she was comfortable and pointed things out to her through the window. It was all the “little things” Max was doing that demonstrated how much he cared. Barb was his priority, she was important and anyone sitting near them could see just how happy this married couple of 67 years were. How many couples get to 67 years? Clearly Max and Barb were doing marriage right! So when you hear those marriage tips at weddings and people say “the little things are the big things”, this is exactly what they mean.
It’s not about grand gestures. Because that’s not what lasting love is about. Grand gestures are few and fleeting. It is the little things. Those daily gestures that show us we are loved. Those morning coffees we make for our spouse without asking. The holding of doors, the spontaneous public displays of affection, the little notes you sneak into a suitcase on trips away. The lunch dates, the unexpected flowers, a bottle of wine after a hard day. It’s doing the dishes without prompting. The sharing of mundane chores. It’s the neck rubs and the foot rubs. It’s taking turns to cook dinner. It’s all those little things we take for granted. But we really shouldn’t. Because when we take these “little things” for granted, they lose the impact. And it’s not hard. All that’s really required is thoughtfulness.
Because it’s all those little ‘big’ things that really show you care.
Alison Cooke Photography is a Brisbane wedding photographer, writer and storyteller. Alison is an award-winning member of the AIPP with over 20 years experience in the wedding industry. Get in touch with Alison here.